trail head

It's therapy for me.
I've had these four chunks of my journal, which I thought I'd ship to MarthaArielTess over the summer.. and I didn't. And then I decided I couldn't or maybe SHOULDN'T. So I didn't. But I still wanted, needed to get them, y'know.. OUT. So I put them -here- intead of @ A Muse, my LiveJournal blog, 'cause she'd be less likely to see them here.. which is weird, sort of, because I nearly desparately WANTed her to see them.
Of course there's a story there and I'd be delighted to share, if you'll ask, I'll answer.

Get the girls out.. Tess is sorta of waiting inna chat box.
Why do you have to say stuff like that? Do you have ANY idea how, um, disloyal that looks?
I s'pose that if I don't wanna be sweatin' it Monpm, iota start working on the li'l bitto stuff that needs grading. Later, f'sure. RCnow 732pm Sat and I'll be poppin' the G'spot open shortly and pouring a fresh cuppa. Life is mainly grand, I've got text to play in from Tu and Ariel's sending a big chunk of pt4.. PiB, y'know. Got Dangerbird in the hedfones.. yeah, life is good. The coffee is prob'ly 'bout ready and I'm definitely ready for it, even tho' it does mean walking thru' THAT part of the house where I'm likely to get hijacked. Well, THIS is a lovely howdy do.. 1137pm Sat.. going to be Easter in about 23 min. I rilly haven't done a whole lot except read pt4 and I've only gotten thru' eleven of the 25 chapts Ariel sent. Oh, and Wil sent about that much of the Cursed sequel, Betrayed.
It was a Monday.. not a bad day, on the whole. George and I lunched w/Glynda and her sister, that was grand. I got grades entered in the egradebook.. three grades in all the classes. AND rcnow @ 1003pm I reckon it's about socalled time to get bedward. I've done the box and the costume, still need to set up the coffee maker. Then, I s'pose I'll get medicated and fade away. After I got done w/the grading tasks I read another li'l piece of pt4 and, of course, that's fab. 1017pm, the sleep aid's in and I'm thinkin' iota move to the ink stream. I'll sit for a few min and see what runs onto the screen.. maybe even stick around until the typing gets or feels too sloppy. Ah crap, I've got to set the alarm; there was a brief power outage SunAM. I prob'ly ought to check and make sure the timer on the coffee maker is still good to go.. more crap to keep me off task and out of bed. Hmmm, meds.. yeah, what a concept. Reality, how's that one for a mind-bender? Heh, don't get me started. It's.. yeah, I guess it is.
What's that about?
About five words.
Blithe.
Sarcastic.
Okay, I know you're ready for bed.
Yeah, I am, but I'd like to sit and play as long as I can.
The alarm's going off @ 448AM.
Yeah, more or less.
That's only about six hours.
I'm ready; got a warm up in mind.. start on another round of write little "fake" paragraphs.. tie them to moving thru' the Shakespeare.
Short week.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
What's this tune?
Loose Change, a long one.
Sit 'til it's over, if you can stand it, then go to bed after noting the ttto shift.
Sure, that sounds like as good a plan as any. It was Twilight before this and Motion Pictures before that.
You absolutely MUST remember to try to move some tunes w/the j'drive.
Yeah, that's kinda of a large deal.
I want to dash for a potty break.
Yer worried about being deprived of socalled time, huh.. it'll be fine; I'll take care of you. Go poop.
Wow.
What?
I didn't think I'd miss the whole song, but I came back to find Helpless winding down into Look Out For My Love.
I notice that you didn't turn the light on when you came back in.
It didn't seem necessary.
Y'like my Neil playlist?
Sure. Let's do a ten min frame and move out to the bed.
Fine, bring one up.
Rcthere it is.
Aint she a beauty.. looks it'll take us write up to elevenpm

1) Sure, but first y'gotta get started. That's done and then y'gotta remember not to forget to use the down-arrow @ the appropriate
2) interval instead of the hard return. I think we'll be okay; it's my toy. I'm pretty sure I know how to use it. I was merely pointing
3) out that It's been a while since either of us has been framed. Ohohoh. What? I wonder if this could be used to break the jam @ Auspi. I wish you'd
4) let it go. I wish you'd put some effort into what's clearly a worthwhile project. Clearly worthwhile, izzit? Yeah, I really
5) can't imagine bailing on it. Oh you feel invested. I'll go along w/that. It's a nearly huge beak thru' be able to make the grim admission w/out
6) the face melting.. the brain gloopy nosebleed. Yeah, we've seen it a couple of times w/no
7) seriously ill affects. Heh, guilt, the gift that keeps on giving. Gotta thank txmi for that one again. Think she'll read blamin'
8) Willow? Nah, but I'd really like for her to. She hasn't made a single comment about the slash.. I guess I was definitely fishing when I pitched that line
9) out there. Ah, don't sweat the small stuff. Get her a line or few out, soon, about the perfect child and the wild bunch I teach.
10) line ten. Yup, I guess that's the one we've been looking for, ttto Campaigner. Ooops, a shift on our watch..
That's nearly too funny! Dreamin' Man shuffles in as socalled time runs out in the frame. Say good night, Ken.
Good nite, ken.
AND it's about that socalled time again @ 1004pm Tue. I'm supposing I'm moving into a manic phase, if I'm not already there. I'm getting, um, more than usual done and feeling really good and not sleeping when I'm s'posed to. Well, it's not AWFUL; I did a pretty good job of getting back on track after the horrible mess I'd made of the sked during the short Easter break. I'll get Ambiened up.. actually, the pill's already in, and get some sleep in a bit. Coffee, costume and cats' box have been tended, I'm good to go. I sent Tu's ch5 back to her a few min ago. I'd kinda like to spend a few min w/ Ariel's pt4, but, really, I'd rather play in the relative here. The ink stream has surprisingly little fascination. I'm still not progressing w/or around the albatross story in Auspi and I don't care much for the long-lined thing, bein, I use while Glynda's got the biggo n'book. So, it's me and you, kid.
I can stand it; you're pretty good company.
Thanx, I generally enjoy hangin' w/you, too.
So.. the albatross thing.
It'll get done. I almost nearly got comfortable w/the awful admission that keeps gumming up the works.
The love and Martha line.
Yeah, Tess.
Whatever.
It's, you know, a usage thing; keep the naming stuff as simple as possible.
Okay.
Why have you got that look?
I don't see how.. imean, nevermind.. Tess.
Tess and Ariel.
Gotcha.
So... I read pt4 'til after elevenpm.. g'nite y'all
Fripm.. for another five min or so.. I s'pose I'm medicating recreationally but it is a tad unusual to be "so" awake @ this relative late hour considering the way the week has gone and that I haven't napped today. So the Ambien is probably a prudent, tho' certainly not necessary, measure. I've read all there is, relative currently, of pt4 and I'm ready to race thru' Cursed and Betrayed. Plus, I'm going to make an honest effort to put some decent lessons together for the fairly odious Shakespearean experience being inflicted on the kids. ANYHOW, it's fast becoming SatAM and the dope's starting to have lessay more pronounced effects, which ibetcha means I won't be engaged w/this task for much longer. I'll stick it out for a while and see if I can get it before I get drawn into the early smurf. Um, more than likely, tho', if I get any lines filled before the sloppy smurf, they'll be filled in or @ bein. Glynda still has the biggo n'book. She did mention today that she's getting deep into it, which I take as an indication that she'll be bringing it back this week. I've pitched the slash lines @ Txmich a couple of times and she seems dedicated to not acknowledging the toss. That's very probably an indicator of disinterest.. maybe polite disgust. I've got or I'm getting a fine range of tunes loaded into the MediaPlayer. Ttto Long Tailed Cat maybe it's Dixie Holiday. I need to set that li'l feature up that announces the song @ the toppo the screen when the tune changes.. I've seen it do it a couple of times before and of course I am completely clueless about what brought the musical updates to my typing screen. I reckon most imean some of the assembled y'all can see that I'm having some minor probs w/my fine motor skills and I'm into that sincerely disruptive phase of trying to fix most of the minor miscues instead of letting the allegedly actual ed crew come in on their time and look @ the crap w/a much less jaundiced eye. It is definitely long past my alleged bedtime. In my socalled defense, I spent a few hours cooking up a biggo potto chicken dumpings. That's be good for me to feast on while the gals so to the concert event @ the horse track. My best, and much uninformed guess, izzat they'll leave around 2pm and stay gone 'til midnite. It's JUST a guss and the weather (rain) could shorten that bitto fun much. Dude, the lights are out, my feet are up on the huge desk.. got the nifty wireless k'board in my lap. It was very nearly a struggle to find those li'l bumps on the f and j keys.. but it's all right.. got some Lionel Hampton vibraphoning in the hedfones.. major mellow. I think the chicken dumpings turned out well, I still need to stumble back out to the kitchen and put it in the fridge before I "officially" fall in bed. I managed nearly a screenfull, that's not too bad. It aint great, but it IS fairly representative. I've let idle fingers sit on or near the k'board for nearly as min as I've kept them engaged. I think that's a pretty good sign that I'm ready to stop and seek refuge under the mask. Oh, and then Neil rides that freakin' Crazy Horse around for some sonic blisters.. Love and Only.. yeah, gotta love it. That'll prob'ly keep me here for another ten min or so.. like a little girl who couldn't wait.
So.. Ken.. I know you still fancy yourself to be a writer.
Make your hostile, belittling point and get out.
How's that gig going for ye?
I'm still fillin' lotsa lines; I s'pose it's going fine, thank you.
Satisfied?
Hell no.. not satisfied w/the volume or w/the product tho' both have flashes of construed great ness.
You need, like, a full-time archivist.
Heh, no question about it.. someone to browse the piles of files and start collating and sorting and collecting maybe great lines.
I think the fab tune's going to run out in three min or so.
That'll be fine.. oops there it went, not even a whole min.. and J Beck comes prancing in w/one of those fine Blow By Blow numbers.
Go to bed fella.
Yeah, that's the right thing to do.
Save and shut down.
Yay me.. up ~7AM, thru' the smurf and.. well, I hope to be thru' the splash by 9AM, that's 36 min away. I've played in the MediaPlayer for a while, updated @ the Gblog.. It's a good morning. I think the psychic barometer is rising. The wife and child will likely spend all of the pm @ another music event, maybe I'll get all the school stuff tended. Heh, it COULD happen. Hang on, I want to send the li'l "I'm around" note I already sent to Tess along to Tu and Sil; this won't take long, ibetcha. Nah.. not awfully long, but I am still hugely disgusted @ how damn slowly the machine moves. Signing out of chat seems to help some, closing the G'spot, completely, would prob'ly help s'more.
Okay, dude, what IS the deal?
I'd like to tell you, but I don't want to start lying.
Hmm. So you want me to start?
Sure, that'll be fine.
The assembled we are sitting @ the huge desk, feet up, hedfones fulla Mr Disappointment annit's a quarter 'til fourAM Sun. I napped from around five to tenpm and, well, I woulda figured I'd be back in bed, but evidently, that's not the case.
In fact, JUSTabout the time I was givin' some thought to going back to bed, the perfect child decided she'd get bedward and asked if she could take my spot.
Yeah.
So I've read thru' Cursed and Betrayed.
That sounds like it was probably a real hoot.
Yeah, but igottatellya buddy, Betrayed isn't nearly as powerful as Cursed.
You prob'ly ought to share that w/Wil.
Yeah, probably, but she's worked so long and hard on it.
Maybe Betrayed needs another read.
Yeah, maybe.. but Cursed absolutely astounded me the first time I read it, Betrayed, I dunno.. JUST not the same.
Maybe y'oughta give some of this precious attention to the school tasks.
Yeah.
I'd like to propose getting doped and inducing a little bitto sleep.
That seems like a maybe extraordinarily good idea. Y'think we might hafta switch to the ink stream to get a good approach on the gates of slumberland?
I wouldn't be surprised, but I -do- plan to resist it.

Dingding

IF y'came in looking for something in particular, it's probably already been moved into the em jour spot, oh nine.. y'know.. you only hafta ask.
Yeah, AS USUAL, there's a story there.
meanwhile, I continue to use the Gspot compost as a sort of launching ground, mainly for stuff I write when I'm in my classroom; it's much tidier than opening a Word spot and moving that doc onto the j'drive. @ the relative present moment, tho', I'm sittin in the office of the K'wood manse.. playing on the cool wireless k'board feeding the laptop I inherited from Jen. I had been playing in the ink stream.. but ireckoni decided I wanted the rapid compost. I.. well, i don't know. on the one hand, I'm feeling a tad isolated; I've pretty much stopped sending posts out and that's cut down on a LOT of the contact w/the slashettes. It's probably not fair to say that I miss it more than they do.. but I miss it a lot and I haven't done anything to bridge the gap I opened w/the decision not to be putting my unasked for stuff in their boxes.
And that's the way it is.. the way it goes.. s'more, Tuepm. It's already after tenpm and i will be getting into the chemical slumbers very shortly. I'd be remiss, tho', if i didn't mention making connections thispm w/Txmic, Sil, Tu, and Ariel. Plus.. I had some phone contact w/Chas as we get ready for the New Orleans gig. I guess I've been quite the social butterfly.
not a good sign..1030pm Wed and .. well.. clearly I'm not in bed. I really need to be getting bedward before tenpm @ the latest to get a complement of about seven hours; that doesn't happen very often. A large part of that, I think, izzat it doesn't get dark 'til about 830pm. Oh well. Tomorrow I'll get the 9th graders reading the condensed version of the their play and start the 10th graders on Act II of Caesar. We'll see how that stuff worx out. Coffee, costume and cat's box are ready for the AM.. the Ambien's in.. i s'pose I'm only waiting for the drugs to kick in so I can stumble into Slumberland.. definitely something to look forward to. The fingers, it seems, are already ready to call it a night and that's probably a good idea, but I've still got about haffa cuppa that I thought I wanted to drink. Oh, here's one for the funny how it worx out, dept... after years of whining about Word and the autocapped singular personal pronoun, I find that I frequently miss that feature in the relative this compose mode.
--
The girls are gone for a day, it's possible, but admittedly unlikely, that i'll do some of the school stuff i've let go for.. well, all of THIS week, f'sure. I sent out a flare to Txmi and i've got a fic related string going w/the celebrated authoress. MANY lights are on.. oh yeah, it, um, I guess y'all don't know unless I say so.. I'm typing into the compost spot so that I can watch for incoming messes. I set some stuff on the LJ yesterpm; it seemed like the thing to do. It was, of course, merely streamy fluff.. the lines i'd sorta stored in the relative here since Mon, I think.. I can.. wow, iguessi can see that this is already turning into a long damn stretch of filling the idle w/missing Jen. I kinda think the wheels are going to fly off my manic wagon.
Yeah, that's sorta what happened. I napped for a while in the pm after school, wouldn't get anything going in the G spot and hit the Ambien trail @ midnite. Then found a couple of notes from Txmi apparently timed around 1230AM. One of them was a very longish thing that I haven't gone back and writ an appropriate response to or for. And it's midnite again. I'll very probably load in the superfluous sleep aid and do the nearly quick fade, pretending that I'll get up and hit the untended trail early. A couple of things work against that notion. First of all, I'm slipping into one of those mindsets where I simply don't want to do it and the week of testing that looms kinda seems to open a window for not doing it and drawing no real attention to not doing it. That's a nearly fatal combination for getting stuff done.. not wanting to do it and feeling like you don't really need to do it. It sorta doesn't matter that it's the right thing to do and that the next op to apply the round tuit is NEXT weekend when I hope to be hanging in New Orleans, six or so hours away from the bag of untend. Oh, here's a programming note I may not have already shared. I worked around the awful blockage in Auspicious by.. are you ready for this.. by merely blowing off trying to tell the troublesome albatross story. The way I said it to the page was the effort and socalled time invested .. reached the point of diminishing returns.