clipped from the em journal (3-31-09)

TueAM, barely, y’know.. about a haffan hour in. it’s nearly too late to put the Ambien in so I’ll very probably do the all-nighter. I’ve sent Sil a headsup, but.. well, I’m not especially optimistic that she’s up.. I could get lucky tho’. I’ve got some schoolstuff, of course, to help pass a few hours and the twenty minute drill of getting ready for school.. and that would include showering and picking a costume. BUT as we can see I’ve elected to sit and see what runs out. Usually, when I do this.. idle spew, I hafta start w/the updates.. it gets the flow going if it’s going to, or sometimes it or they’ll take me to a place where I must stop. So.. the document update. I mentioned more than a couple of times, I think, that Auspicious is stalled @ p65 where I got bogged down w/the telling of the albatross story. The biggo notebook, eh, it’s about to get filled, maybe a dozen pages.. but I figger I’ve lost the desi and I know that shouldn’t make a whole lot of difference.. actually, that shouldn’t make ANY difference @ all, but it does. I’d hoped that I could get her to peruse it once more, “for old lang syne,” before we parted ways. I’m pretty sure that’s not going to happen. Nobody I hang around w/seems to find the time to read as much as I do. Which reminds me very little that Ariel’s sent me a large chunk of pt4 of the PiB thing and I’ve barely touched that. I guess when she took the perceived urgency from getting the read of the first three parts away, I stopped reading pt3 and.. and then I got to do some text play for Tu and a bit for Ariel in pt4.. so, the stuff I really like, playing in other folx fine texts has provided JUST enough distraction. I don’t even remember where I left off the read of pt3. So.. that leaves, what.. the psychic update. Dude, as usual, I’m clueless. I’m alternately craving sleep and sleepless. Let’s presume I haven’t yet gotten over the mess that closed Spring Break. You may recall that on the second Sat, I was much funked, mainly w/crap tangentially associated w/trying to tell.. well, you know. I think I can say w/out much fear of contradiction (but plenty of OTHER fears) that when I wrote, and then transed the line about love and Martha I broke thru’ the brittle crust and fell hard and fast. It IS a very tough admission and.. well, it’s JUST tough. The fact that it remains such a touchy spot after nearly five (hundred) years mainly serves to remind me that I have been crazy for a LOT longer than I’ve been taking meds for it.

peace and hope
-km-